Friday, April 15, 2011

Astral Projection OBE... note to self: don't try to move the physical body

I was walking down a sidewalk and I was approaching someone scary. As I drew closer I became aware of the sound of the shopping cart that they pushed. I did not see the face but I knew it was dark. Right before we passed I felt this chill and the sound the squeaking got way more real than a real cart. I then was out of the dream and out of my body (vibes came with real cart sounds) in total blackness. I wanted to see a demon, I visualized one and I felt fear, I then wanted to see Jefforee and I saw and felt him there, he had no face… he may have, but I just remember him being a visible black manshape on the black background. I then became aware of where I was in the astral. I never opened any eyes this time. I was floating up in the air and I started spinning out of control. I realized that I was in my bed room at my parents place. I didn't catch any details other than the blue and white striped wall paper. I was clenching my physical jaw really hard, so I worked on opening it, and the astral dissolved but I was still floating in my body, kept working on getting my jaw open. I was paralyzed, but at the same time my astral arms are moving which when I "see" them I am back in my parents house in my room. I am standing there, looking around, I want to float, right as I start to, my mind (awakened from moving my jaw) said, no this isn't possible and grounded me. I tried jumping up to the air and commanding that I float, but the jumps were low gravity but I was back on the ground. Then when I jumped again all the gravity was there again and the whole thing sort of fell apart. Fin.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Out of the Body Again (Finally)

04/06/2011 1:06 am
I had another OBE! In this one, I was dreaming for a really short time, it was simply me sliding down this railing in this elegant house, then the rail became endless and the background disappeared. I became lucid and I guess my subconscious messages a couple days earlier had worked because in my lucid state I decided to have a projection and stuck my leg in the vertical slats holding up the railing to cause myself to start spinning on the X axis really fast. I heard loud vibrations and felt a buzzing in my head like there was a school bell ringing in it, I focused to make them stronger and poof the dream disintegrated and I was floating in my astral. I didn't know what to do, my reasoning was asleep, it was as if I was told to open my eyes, presumably by Jefforee, however, I did not think to look for him because I was not thinking. I focused on opening my eyes, but rather, my physical eyes opened. I have yet to figure out how to see without opening those eyes. I bent my arm to take a look at it, it felt weightless, kind of like when your leg is asleep or what ever. With my arm still up in the air, I willed floating self to roll. I rolled towards the wall and soon I passed through it; it made a fffft sound like in stargate when someone would walk through the event horizon. I kept spinning but for some reason my mind started to awaken and I was now "seeing" out of my eyes that were open instead of projecting, and I could now see that I was more getting the vertigo of sponging and not actually spinning… well I was, but the perspective from my physical eyes made things weird. I shut them hard and tried really hard to get vibrations, which I got, only this time they were like 10x stronger than the first time, so loud. This time I did something different, while I was getting vibrations I said "I am outside". I tried to visualize the railing again but it just wasn't coming. I then got the idea to visualize the sound of footsteps on a wooden floor, wood soled shoes, it was SO real I could swear that I was really hearing someone walking down a hallway. Then I was in daylight. There were 5 guys in colorful shirts and guns chasing a guy in a short sleeve red polo shirt. Then there were gunshots, lots of them, I was scarred of a stray bullet hitting me, I felt like I really was at risk of dying! Then I told myself I am projecting bullets cannot kill me. and I looked again. He is running, I think he is white, I thought it was a sidewalk in the city, but now it is the parking lot of the post office. I am then shot back into wakefulness. I was like "OH SHIT! He's dead!" I go to the window and there is no one out there. But it was SO real, there is no way that didn't happen. I then realize I am kicking over stuff in my apartment… I either then woke up from a dream and was on my couch, or I was sleep walking and woke up standing up. I find it wierd that I can't remember because I am now writing this right after I came to. The END! :)

Friday, March 18, 2011

2 Sets of Vibrations and a reoccurring dream about OBE's

I am not sure if I really just saw these vibrations at the time I write this, they were SO real though that I now am certain they are. They are vertical sine waves every other one is the same and the second is an opposite of the one next to it. I am hearing jet engines warming up, sooo real, so loud. I am on the toilet in a hospital when they come though at the time I am not sure if I know that I am there, I am peeing or whatever. I try to scream but I am paralyzed but my mouth is moving. My legs can move though and I roll off the toilet onto the floor and try to scream. I wiggle to the door with my pants down still, I finally get control in my arms and pull up my shorts and open the door. I go out into a large room that I do not recognize, my family is there, I tell them that I am sorry (I do not know why). I ask how long it has been (I am not sure what time period I am asking for). There are 3 doctors 2 female one carrying an EMT bag. and a stretcher. They tell me that they are there because I complained of back pain a week ago. This part is really fuzzy but she says something and I tell her that I have seen her before, she doesn't know that I am psychic.
The vibrations were REAL!! When I tried to make them stronger that is when I fell back asleep into dreamland dimension, so quickly that I thought I was in waking reality in that bathroom, hence the sleep paralysis, which by the way, I have never experienced before ever (or not that I remember), but it was all a dream.

(As I type this I feel Deja Vous, and now that I am typing it, I feel Deja Vous about the deja vous all about a sound that I heard out side that woke me from my next dream…. this day is weird, REALLY weird, I do not understand what is happening, has my mind veil been lifted? Am I truly becoming who I was meant to be?)
Joel was in a heavy drug induced OBE that I now recall was of our doing, we were trying something out and we as a family was going to rescue him (the people I was with I recognized in the dream as being family) and bring him home. I walked around looking for him, the door to the stairs was locked and it said to go around to the other side. I go though some doors and there is a desk to my left. I stand there for a second trying to figure out where to go, there are more stairs to my right, but I do not feel that they will bring me to him, so I go up to the desk to ask. I need them to bring me to him so we can rescue him and keep him from being buried and put into the ground, because we know he isn't dead. I show her my regions bracelet which for whatever reason is back on my wrist, but that doesn't seem to be good enough. I have a yellow envelope with some forms in it (it just appears) I figure that this is what they need to let me go to him. When they look at the forms I realize what they are. They are something that I wrote either when I was in the hospital or suicidal or something, and I regret showing it to her because I am afraid to go back to inpatient treatment. The woman looks at the last page and tells me that it is "highlighted and tenanted" I am not sure what that means but I felt that it meant that the form had been authorized and it was real and had some weight in the hospital. I was eating fish (they just appeared too) They were cooked and salted and rather tasty, there were three kinds all a different color, one was red, one was blue, and the last was white. Then the definition (weather correct or not) came into my mind of shell fish and that it had a shell on its dorsal side… I have no idea what that meant or had anything to do with.
It is right now that some guy outside is yelling "Ma'am! Hey Ma'am!" Some other things too but I do not remember I was hypnogogic, but I am sure they came from outside thought that window that was open. Later there was more talking from outside when I was more awake that confirms they wanted me… they said that "I tried to buzz her, but she doesn't have a phone" I recall someone knocking at my door and them trying to come in but it was locked and chained. Earlier I was afraid about that sound that I had heard in my room and decided to lock the door up so I could actually get some sleep and not worry about every sound I heard.
I invited this new fear in locking my door, giving into that one… Ego was trying to proove that fear right for me locking up. I asked for it. After I got ready I unlocked the door again, I will lock it at night for peace of mind, but every morning I will unlock it because I have nothing to fear! Something during my waking up after the Ma'am thing came to be about being psychic, but it didn't go anywhere.
I also started thinking, not sure if it was here, about my case manager coming back and asking me more questions ultimately she was getting at that I needed to come up with a punishment for what I did. That felt, and still does, feel very real and valid. She IS going to come back and tell me that I need to have a consequence for my actions. Right now I am feeling that there is a lot of truth in that book about having the power to recover from ANY mistake. I made some mistakes yesterday, and I have the power to ultimately recover. No matter how hopeless it may seem, the solution is in my wisdom that I have already gathered, I know how to solve this problem, I just need to trust that I will handle the situation right.
There have been several police cars that have gone by with sirens on past my window, I have seen them pass, the first too I was having a strange feeling they were coming for me, but they continued on and did not come here.
it is 8:50. I went out for a smoke and typed up all of this stuff… no one from maintenance approached me when I was outside… the ma'am thing or the no phone thing happened at 8:03 I looked at my clock when it happened. Door is unlocked, if they need me they can not only get in but they do not need to call me. :)
More sirens! Jeeze I wonder what happened… lmao.
I reentered the hospital dream, only I was alone and I didn't seem to want to find joel. I do not remember what I even did there, but I was back in my apartment, but just down the hall from my door was the desk that was in that hospital (the one where joel was) and on the desk there was a UPS envelope that was bulging and there were some tape binds. I somehow knew there was candy in it, so I do not see anyone so I break the binds and take some. There is a room right behind me and the woman in the bed sees me take like 1/2 of all of it. I turn around and I am like oh shit so I run down the hall to my apartment and lock the door and go into my bedroom. My apartment has changed, the floor plan is like no apparent I have ever been in. Near the door there was a book case and just to the left of that the wall had an entrance to the kitchen and just past that was a dark stairway with no door that goes down to the basement. I climb down and look around, at first it is full of shit, there is so MUCH stuff it isn't even funny, just junk everywhere. Then I remember that I have like nothing so I re-imagine it being empty. When I do I see another set of starts kitty corner to the stairs I came down. I think what is up them, and there is now a hallway from the entry way in the apartment and the stairs, it is just long enough for a washer and drier. these stairs are blue, I do not climb them, instead I am now standing in the garage at my parents house looking at the wall where the garbage cans are and behind that (just like in my dream the same angle only not upstairs) there are the washer, I Imagine it shrinking down into the space where it is just enough to fit a washer and drier like in "my" apartment. I then wake up.
Prior to this dream that I remember, I remember experiencing sleep paralysis again. Oh yeah, it was when I was running back after taken the candy. I jumped into bed where I became paralyzed and couldn't get out. I also remember looking at the candy I took and not being able to clearly read it but I had a huge bag of pop corn and I was trying to see the nutrition facts, but they were not making any sense. I couldn't understand what it said! It was sooo weird, but I ate two bites and gaged/spat them into the garbage can near the door. Somewhere in that time I was paralyzed and scarred in my bed and then I went down to explore the basement. I also when I was in the basement thought of how there might be a floor above me too, and then I was outside my building and that all 3 floors I lived on.
I do not remember which dream it was, but there was one this morning that I clearly remember walking towards my bed from down the hall and when I got there my body was in the bed. I was definitly out of my body! I climbed back into my body and that is when the sleep paralysis came on. I wasn't scared or anything, it was like I do it all the time. I was in a dream state but the looking at my body in my bed was SO real and then of course the sleep paralysis was real too. When I finally was able to move again I rolled out of bed but I was not in the physical world, I was back into the dream. I may have been projecting and didn't even know it. In fact, I may have been projecting several times into the astral and had no idea I was actually doing it, and just clearly remember not being able to move! COOL! :D

A failed Attempt Due to Fear

Mar 18, 1:55:32
I have been laying there, it was not at all this time when I first started trying to get ready to do an obe. I was startled to awareness by a vibrating, I felt as though my palms were sitting on my laptop and the fan inside the computer was rumbling. the harder I pushed with my palms the stronger the vibrations got. I was so close, I started thinking about OBE's and that I was going to get out of my body again. But I was thinking too hard and they never got to the point of my head feeling like it was being electrocuted. The vibrations then seemed to go away altogether, though before they did they began to faultier, like they would go down and then I would push again and they would come back. Anyways they were gone and I was starting to try to prepare to get back into that frame, then I heard a sound like a door slamming, I am not sure what it was, but it was loud, I started thinking someone came into my apartment, I do not lock the door anymore, I was so terrified by the thought that someone was in my apartment that I opened my eyes (or maybe before that) and I was "proved right" stupid ego, by a bright light like the light in my room was on and I was sure someone was there, then I opened my REAL eyes, lmao and it was dark in my room except the soft blue glow of my clock and the light from the window. Shit shit shit, I almost was there but I ruined it by doubt. Anyways it is a full moon and I read one time that it is not wise to project with a full moon, nor a waning moon, so looks like I have to wait a week or so. I am going to leave my door unlocked during the day, but just so I do not get scared by sounds in the astral in the future, thinking that my physical body may be in danger, I will lock my door at night so that way I am sure no one just WALKED into my apartment, which they could do, RIGHT NOW, if they wanted because the door is unbolted and unlocked. I have to pee, so I am going to lock up and maybe grab something to drink.
This just doesn't feel real 2:07:30. I was just in the bathroom, it is almost too real, too clear, I just don't feel like I am really awake, I think I may be dreaming. I feel the presence of my spirit guides! I am excited and my eyes are tearing up like the first entry in my black book. Everything that happened then, it feels the same. I am reassured that I am awake by the sounds of my never sleeping neighbor upstairs. I think I am feeling my guides now because I actually requested them in the right state of mind about 2 hours or less, 1 hour ago when I was preparing to have an OBE. I was completely paralyzed and I thought perfect, time to "pray" for them. And I did and now I feel him! I am so exited, I am going to talk to him while I sip my water. Cya.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

My first REAL OoBE!

March 16th…
I just had my first OBE, it started as a lucid dream.

I was in the car with mom, and she was at the bottom of our street (heading towards shaftner road) there and she was going 40 plus and there was a car infront of her that was going really slow, she was going to slow down, but I decided to have her speed up. We zoomed around this car like at 50 at the last second with inches to the stop sign at the T intersection and fishtailed the corner only to get sideswiped by another car that was driving along shaftner road. I was thrown out of my body in this. I felt the vibrations, though I didn't see anything, so I tried to visualize a white line, which made the vibrations stronger, the white line started to gain perspective and it laid down, it was 3d and I felt it was a piece of wood, a white 2x4 with the grain and knots just like a real one. It felt like my head was being electrocuted. Then I remember what the books say about seeing and movement. I felt my arm, it was numb like it was floating, my left astral arm was floating in the air and it felt like it was, like nothing was even touching it…. it was suspended on a cloud and it was so comfortable… the feeling manifested as a visualization of a shimmering waving arm floating in the air. I then realized that I was seeing light even though I didn't think my physical eyes were open, but I couldn't really see what it was, I waved my left astral arm around and I think I may have moved my physical arm, but I am not sure. I tried to open my eyes, it seriously isn't bright enough in the room right now for me to have seen what I saw with physical eyes. I did not see myself, rather I felt I was looking at a Television there was something playing on the screen, there was a halo around it and the rest of the room was pitch dark. Perhaps it was a neighbors box based on the direction I am laying down, all there is is my window and a clock. The clock was out of sight range and the window I do not believe has any light coming out of it. I blacked out and came to in a few seconds and was so excited to write in here! OMG it was awesome dude. I was in waking consciousness in that driving dream. I had been dreaming before, it was a dumb dream and I don't remember what it was, but I was in and out of deep unconscious and full consciousness before the driving dream started. This driving dream was at the most 30 seconds long, I mean all we did was zoom around a car and get side swiped by another one, but it was so real feeling that my consciousness got brought into the astral plane. I think I am probably going to go around in another circle if I keep typing, so I am going to try to project again, and get back down into relaxation and shit and see what happens .

the time is 2:54 probably 2:48 or so when I woke up from the OBE.

I just turned off my laptop screen and looked around to see what might have been my physical eyes seeing, but I swear the window looks like an ominous yellowish color, the clock is green and facing away from the pillow, and the other clock is out of sight completely because my blankets are all messy.

I was seeing a television.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Spirits in the Hypnopompic State

March 10th 2011 at 4:30 am.
I was sleeping when something out of the blue woke me up. I had the urge to look down near my feet which was near my computer. I see a spirit in the doggy position looking at my computer. It was so real that I subconsciously exclaimed "Get away from me!". I was absolutely terrified, though it was so dark the silvery spirit some how made me think of my father. The spirit vanished as quickly as it had came. I am still scarred! It was too real, I have grabbed my protection pentacle and have it against my chest. My body must have just re-entered from the astral state and was still lucid enough in that plane for me to see this spirit. I know it was real, I was not dreaming it, and I have had no black out period since seeing it. I am too scarred now at 4:40 to go back to sleep, so it looks like I will turn on some lights and light a protection candle and be up for the mooning.
Yesterday I had woken up dreaming about me giving my family another chance and I was sure it was a good idea to at least give them the opportunity and I was sure that they were in the end going to be accepting. In the instant moment this morning somehow I was sure of the opposite, and I was sure that I never wanted to contact my father again. It should have been unrelated! Seeing a ghost and then all of a sudden my position on an issue completely flip flopped and I am not on the other side without any real reasoning as to how and why I flipped such a major decision so drastically and seemingly without even thinking about it; Instantaneous.

Friday, March 4, 2011

My First Glimpse

3/04/2011 8pm-1am 
I started exploration into OBE. My first experience was bone chilling. I realized that it was completely possible for me to do this, and I had a number of strange unexplainable happenings occur to me during this time. I had in the past month started reading a book that I had gotten on astral projection, however its method and explanation left me feeling like my creativity and imagination was subprime and that it was not capable of visual creation. I however have been sure that I can imagine sounds and music and can remember a small 15 second or so segment of a favorite song and be able to "hear" all the different parts and harmonies in it. I can play it over and over and then blend it into another segment later on. I am sure after doing it of course that I am not really hearing it but rather imagining it, but it is so absolutely close to what the song or sound actually is that when I play the song back I know what would happen next in every instrument or vocal line.
My experience started with me laying in natures clothing on my back with two candles being the only light in the room and some soft relaxing music playing. As I lay there, I thought about how my body was just a bottle for my astral self and started trying to think about vibrations. My eyes started crying and I got huge chills (vibrations) all over my body and it felt like I was being ripped from my body. I was not on the edge of sleep and I was in full waking consciousness. I saw a blue flame that floated around my "visual field" even though my eyes were closed. I reached for this flame and my body felt even more disconnected. I started to become scared and stopped and sat up. I then read on in the book and it said stuff about imagining that you were ripped from your body and then looking at yourself. I thought about it and then my eyes started crying really bad this time and I got another huge chill run through my body. And I was sure that this didn't really happen but it felt so real, but I saw myself stand up and I looked up and saw me, clothed in what I had been wearing earlier looking down at me saying "Christina!" I was terrified, this was so real and it scared me so much that once again I stopped and went back to sitting there. 
I read on and did more of the exercises, but nothing new developed.