Friday, March 18, 2011

A failed Attempt Due to Fear

Mar 18, 1:55:32
I have been laying there, it was not at all this time when I first started trying to get ready to do an obe. I was startled to awareness by a vibrating, I felt as though my palms were sitting on my laptop and the fan inside the computer was rumbling. the harder I pushed with my palms the stronger the vibrations got. I was so close, I started thinking about OBE's and that I was going to get out of my body again. But I was thinking too hard and they never got to the point of my head feeling like it was being electrocuted. The vibrations then seemed to go away altogether, though before they did they began to faultier, like they would go down and then I would push again and they would come back. Anyways they were gone and I was starting to try to prepare to get back into that frame, then I heard a sound like a door slamming, I am not sure what it was, but it was loud, I started thinking someone came into my apartment, I do not lock the door anymore, I was so terrified by the thought that someone was in my apartment that I opened my eyes (or maybe before that) and I was "proved right" stupid ego, by a bright light like the light in my room was on and I was sure someone was there, then I opened my REAL eyes, lmao and it was dark in my room except the soft blue glow of my clock and the light from the window. Shit shit shit, I almost was there but I ruined it by doubt. Anyways it is a full moon and I read one time that it is not wise to project with a full moon, nor a waning moon, so looks like I have to wait a week or so. I am going to leave my door unlocked during the day, but just so I do not get scared by sounds in the astral in the future, thinking that my physical body may be in danger, I will lock my door at night so that way I am sure no one just WALKED into my apartment, which they could do, RIGHT NOW, if they wanted because the door is unbolted and unlocked. I have to pee, so I am going to lock up and maybe grab something to drink.
This just doesn't feel real 2:07:30. I was just in the bathroom, it is almost too real, too clear, I just don't feel like I am really awake, I think I may be dreaming. I feel the presence of my spirit guides! I am excited and my eyes are tearing up like the first entry in my black book. Everything that happened then, it feels the same. I am reassured that I am awake by the sounds of my never sleeping neighbor upstairs. I think I am feeling my guides now because I actually requested them in the right state of mind about 2 hours or less, 1 hour ago when I was preparing to have an OBE. I was completely paralyzed and I thought perfect, time to "pray" for them. And I did and now I feel him! I am so exited, I am going to talk to him while I sip my water. Cya.

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